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Best Ways of Parenting Young Children

Parenting a Child – Teaching Life Skills – The Power of Problem Solving

August 20th, 2013

“Research shows that children who know how to come up with five solutions to a problem have better friendships and less conflict”

Tears of joy spilled down Maria’s cheeks as she said to a group parents, “This is the first time I have ever been called to school because one of my girls has done something right. ” In fact, Maria was currently in court-ordered parenting classes because her other two teenage girls had been in juvenile court.

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This day, Angela, Maria’s third child, and former troublemaker, was being honored along with eleven other fifth grade students for helping the Assistant Principal turn around some school problems.

Parenting Tips – 5 Simple Ways to Understand and Connect With Your Young Children

August 20th, 2013

The key to understanding and connecting with our children is to be in sync with their emotional world. This begins from birth and requires us to recognize and welcome all of the child’s feelings as meaningful and important expressions of their inherent needs. Basically, it is about seeing the innocence of the child rather than the prejudiced and preconceived notions of the adult in each situation.

The following are 5 simple ideas that are keys to developing a greater understanding of children.

1. Ages and Stages: Children grow and develop in a sequential way. For example, a two year old is exploring his emerging independence and therefore may use the word “No!” frequently. By having an understanding of a child’s ages and stages we can avoid placing unrealistic expectations on our children, which can cause conflict and damage trust.

2. Social expectations: Children, by their very nature are noisy, emotionally unpredictable, impatient and uneducated about the social niceties and polite behavior. But it is these very behaviors that are the root of all parental suffering! “Be nice”, “Sit still”, “Say please”, “Share with your brother”, “Eat with your fork”, “Don’t pee on the rug!”, “Don’t pick your nose on the bus”. These are all perfectly normal healthy behaviors for children. It is our society’s expectations that are abnormal and unreasonable.

3. Play and exploration: In the early years of a child’s life, he learns about himself and his world through play and repetition. He learns and develops physically, intellectually, emotionally and socially through play and exploration of his environment. And he explores the world through his senses – seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling. The simple things are often the best.

4. Communication: You communicate with your children in many different ways – by what you say, with your facial expressions, by using your eyes, by the way you touch and by the way you hold and caress them, as well as with your body posture and the tone of your voice. Similarly, your children as babies communicate with you by their different cries, conveying their distress, their hunger, their need for a nappy change and their longing for comfort.

5. Be a good role model: Children take their cues from the adults around them. They learn primarily through imitation and observation with verbal interactions taking second place. By treating them and others with respect and dignity, you teach them to be mindful of the feelings, rights and needs of others as well as teaching them a respect, dignity and love for themselves. Our children are a reflection of ourselves. If you do not like the way your children are behaving then take a look at yourself, for this is often where the answer lies.

Parenting a Child – Are You Making Any of These 3 Deadly Parenting Mistakes?

August 20th, 2013

As a parent, “Connecting” with your child may be the most important thing you do. When kids feel close to their parents, there is less conflict in the relationship, more trust and more caring. Also, when kids feel secure, they are more likely to share problems, listen to you and follow your advice.

So let’s take a look at 3 of the biggest and deadliest mistakes parents make that cause a break in their relationship with their children, and, then, what to do instead.

1. Ignoring attempts at connecting. When your children talk, ask a question, share good news, pout, get angry, or even tattle what do you do? How you respond can make or break your relationship. Do you ignore them, snap at them to be quiet, keep on with what you were doing and give a slight acknowledgment?

What to do instead. How you react to all the small interactions each day is the secret to creating a close, trusting, sharing relationship. When your child talks to you, stop what you are doing (as often as you can), listen and respond to what they are saying in a positive way. They will feel valued and important and be much more interested in talking with you.

2. Giving evaluative praise: When you tell your child they are awesome over the littlest thing, praise their work as “absolutely the best” or tell they they are so “smart” they might smile and like it at first. But pretty soon children can begin to distrust and blow off your compliments. Sometimes they develop a sense of entitlement, feeling like they shouldn’t have to work for anything at all. They might even become praise junkies doing whatever they can just to get praise.

What to do instead: Specifically describe what your child said or did, and tell the impact, as you see it. This allows your kids to “paint a positive picture of themselves” which builds true self-esteem. It also lets them know what they need to do to be successful in the future. For example, “I enjoyed reading your book report. All your research helped me learn a lot of interesting facts about dinosaurs. I had no idea there were over 700 types of dinosaurs.”

3. Criticizing: There is nothing that can put a wall between you and your child faster than feeling disapproved of by you. It’s especially painful if you attack character like saying “You’re lazy, or irresponsible.”

What to do instead: Respectfully tell your child what they said or did that you found unacceptable, suggest an alternative behavior, explain the benefits of your suggestion, and, when appropriate, ask for action. For example, “You left your dishes on the table, they belong in the dishwasher so they can get clean, please put them there.

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Best Ways of Parenting Young Children